Your Buyer Doesn’t Think Like You

Early in my career, my father told me the best salespeople treat every call the same way. Same energy, same structure, same flow every time. Build consistency, he said. Make it repeatable.

I followed that advice for about two years. And for two years, I could never figure out why some conversations clicked immediately, and others felt like I was pushing a boulder uphill no matter what I did.

Then I started paying attention to something different. Not what I was saying, but who I was saying it to.

That is what Chapter 3 of Relationship Intelligence is about. Once you are listening well and projecting the right energy, the next step is understanding who is actually on the other end of the conversation. Every buyer falls into one of three types: Doers, Thinkers, and Hybrids. Getting this wrong does not just cost you the sale. It raises their guard, and once that happens, it is very hard to bring them back down.

I once spent fifteen minutes walking a prospect through everything we offered, our process, our history, the whole picture. I thought I was being thorough. Halfway through, he interrupted me and said, "So, can you fix the problem or not?"

That was a Doer. They are results-driven and already three steps ahead while you are still setting the scene. They do not want the backstory, the options, or the detailed walkthrough. They want to know what you can do, how fast you can do it, and whether it solves their problem.

If you give a Doer too much, you will not just bore them. You will frustrate them. Lead with the result, not the process. Respect their time, and they will respect yours.

Thinkers are the opposite, and I had to learn this one the hard way too. I once had a prospect who asked me a question after every single answer I gave. I started to read it as hesitation and pushed a little harder for the close. She backed off completely and I lost the deal.

What I missed was that she was not hesitating. She was evaluating. There is a difference. Thinkers have done their research, they have a list of questions, and they are paying close attention to every answer you give.

Trying to push a Thinker before they are ready will almost always backfire. Patience is not just a nice quality here, it is the strategy. Their trust takes longer to earn, but once you have it, it sticks.

Most buyers do not fall neatly into one category, and Hybrids are the ones who will keep you on your toes. They borrow from both types and can shift between them in the same conversation. I have had calls where someone spent the first ten minutes asking detailed questions and then out of nowhere said "alright, let's move forward." If I had kept explaining I would have talked them right out of it.

The mistake most reps make with Hybrids is picking a lane and staying in it. You have to stay observant. When they signal they have heard enough, stop explaining and start moving. When they need more reassurance, give it. The whole game with a Hybrid is knowing which mode they are in right now.

My father was not entirely wrong. Consistency matters. But the consistency he was describing was in technique, not in approach. The best reps I have ever seen are consistent in how carefully they listen and how quickly they adjust. The words change. The structure changes. What stays the same is the attention.

Take Your Sales to the Next Level with Relationship Intelligence.

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