Last issue was about the small stuff. Answering when you said you would, remembering the little things they mention, and being upfront with somebody about what they don't need yet.
This week I want to tell you about a call where I did none of that, because I started tuning out of the conversation.
It was a call I'd taken a hundred times. Same kind of building, same kind of problem, same three questions in the same order. I could have run it in my sleep, and for about two minutes, that's more or less what I did.
Then he said something that didn't fit, and it snapped me back. I couldn't tell you now what it was. What I do remember is the realization that I'd been on autopilot.
I caught it. Barely. If I hadn't, I'd have walked out of there with the wrong picture of what he actually needed and built the whole proposal on top of it.
Thirty years of sales in my pocket, I wrote a book with listening as the first chapter, and it still happened.
That's what I want to get into today, because I don't think anybody talks about this part honestly. People usually teach “Listening” like the problem is that you don't know how. Most of the time, the problem is that you dont realize how often you tune out.
Today, we go over:
Why the calls you've taken a hundred times are the ones you're most likely to blow.
What's actually going on in your head when you drift, and how to catch it.
The one move that gets you back in the conversation without announcing that you left it.
EXPERIENCE BUILDS A FILTER
The more calls you take, the better your brain gets at predicting them.
That is mostly an asset. You hear the first thirty seconds, and you already know roughly where this is going, what they'll ask about, what it's going to cost, what they'll push back on. That's pattern recognition, and it's what most people mean when they call somebody experienced.
But this comes at a cost, and it’s called a Listening Filter. Once your brain can predict the conversation, it starts to make assumptions. You stop taking in what they're saying and start confirming what you already believe. Which can be a problem when your assumptions are wrong.
So a plant manager calls about an issue with a loading dock, and within a minute you've filed it under the same four reasons everybody calls about a loading dock. Maybe it's a fifth reason. Maybe there's an audit in six weeks. Maybe somebody in QA already flagged it twice and got ignored, and this call is really about that person needing to show it got handled. You'll never find out, because you stopped collecting information thinking you already have it all.
The tricky call isn't the unusual one you already acknowledge you know nothing about. It's the one that looks exactly like the last twelve calls.
RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU DRIFT
You can't fix this by deciding to care more. Everybody already cares. What works is noticing it while it's happening, not two days later when the proposal comes back wrong.
My ‘tell’ is that I get ahead of the conversation. I've got the recommendation formed before they're done describing the problem, and from that point on I'm not really listening anymore; I'm just waiting for a pause to jump in with the pitch.
Other ones I've seen people fall into include:
Listening for the pause instead of the sentence
Nodding along on a video call, while checking your email.
Taking notes on the deal, budget, and who signs, and nothing on the person.
Here's a check you can run mid-call. Could you repeat their last sentence back right now, in their words?
If you can't, you're not listening.
SAY IT BACK
When you catch yourself tuning out, don't try to quietly recover and hope you can reconstruct what you missed. That includes guessing, and you might guess wrong.
Use a reconfirming statement that lets them confirm or deny your assessment of the situation.
"So let me make sure I've got this right. The problem is showing up at the dock and the receiving area; it's gotten worse since spring, and the piece that's driving the timing is the audit in October. Is that right?"
They won't be offended that you want clarification. If you got it wrong, it forces them to correct you, and half the time you'll get something in that answer that never would have come up otherwise.
It takes about fifteen seconds and often helps you jump back in where you tuned out, without the client realizing or feeling unheard.
Listening isn't something you have or don't have. It's more like a thing you're doing or you're not, moment to moment, and it's the first thing to go once you get comfortable.
The best listeners I know aren't naturally better at this than anybody else. They're just faster at noticing when they've checked out.
Are You Ready to Listen Your Way to More Sales?
Improve your listening skills with our Active Listening Sales Guide!
We’ve created a free downloadable guide that includes:
The 80/20 Listening Challenge – A step-by-step exercise to help you listen more effectively in your next sales call.
A Salesperson’s Listening Checklist – Your go-to resource for better conversations and higher conversions.
WANT TO EXPLORE FURTHER?
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Until next time, ask yourself:
Are you really listening, or just waiting for your turn to talk?
Keep learning,
Better Relationships. Better Conversations. Better Sales.